Self-Soothing with the Senses

Self-soothing using your senses is a very popular topic of discussion these days, with many Instagram and Facebook posts encouraging individuals to “ground” themselves (read: soothe) through connecting with their sense (posts often encourage you to: focus on 5 things you see, 4 things you can touch, 3 smells, etc.). We want to explore this strategy in greater detail so that you can better understand where this idea came from, how it works, and how to effectively practice it.

But where did this strategy come from and does it really work?

Self-soothing with your senses is a “Distress Tolerance” strategy from Marsha Linehan’s Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) treatment model (an evidence-based therapy, which we have a great blog on titled: Spotlight on Dialectical Behavior Therapy). Given that this is an evidence-based model, this means that the strategies and interventions instilled in this type of therapy are supported by empirical data (meaning: according to rigorous research, DBT strategies work – including self-soothing through the senses).

And how exactly does it work?

“Distress tolerance” strategies are interventions aimed to help us reduce or manage feelings of stress in a productive and healthy way. The strategies are not aimed at “resolving” the difficult emotional experience, but rather are a way to calm (i.e. soothe) the response in our body, allowing us to respond in more productive and effective ways to stress.

Our brains and bodies use information through our senses to help determine whether we are in danger (or in need of being distressed), through a system called the Autonomic Nervous system (ANS). When we perceive stressful information through our ANS, it activates the “Sympathetic Nervous system”, or the “Fight/Flight/Freeze” stress response (this of this like the ‘gas’ of the system – which tells us to ‘GO, GO, GO!’, and escape that distressing emotional experience). When we intentionally give our system soothing messages through our senses, it helps deactivate that system – and instead kicks on the “Parasympathetic system” or the “rest and digest” portion of the ANS (think of this as the “brakes”, telling us to slow down and re-regulate).

Ultimately, self-soothing through the senses is a nifty little “brain-hack” if you will, to help move your body back to a calm-state, allowing you to access more productive strategies for managing and addressing stressful experiences in life.

The only warning when using this strategy: you don’t want to over-use or under-use these strategies. Consider this – if you’re always self-soothing (over-using the strategy), then you likely will create other problems in life (how will you get anything else done?)! But if you are under-using, and only trying to tap into these skills in moments of crisis, then it likely is not going to be effective for you. Consider this like a fire-drill, you don’t want to wait for flames before you’ve even practiced the strategy. So, take time to discover what works for you through each sense, and consider how to incorporate this into each week in small ways to help your body experience a sense of calm and relaxation.

Now let’s take a look at each sense:

SENSE OF TOUCH

Using your sense of touch can be a highly effective strategy for lowering stress and soothing oneself. In fact, there is a lot of research to support the effectiveness of touch for calming your system down.

Examples include:

Having someone put their arm around you, embrace you, or hug you
Engaging in self-massage or having another person massage you
Rubbing a salt-scrub or exfoliant of sorts on your body or face
Petting an animal or snuggling your pet
Putting on lotion
Taking a shower or bath, using a comforting temperature
Kneading dough or baking something that involves using your hands
Putting clean sheets on your bed and snuggling under them
Get a pedicure or manicure
Brush your hair, with slow, intentional strokes
Find a smooth rock, and feel the heaviness in your hand, stroke it with your thumb
Get a soft blanket and snuggle on a couch or comfortable chair
Feel the sun shining on your face or body, warming you slowly
Use a cold or warm compress on various parts of your body

SENSE OF SMELL

Although true of all the senses, it is particularly true that soothing using the sense of smell will be highly unique person to person. What you find soothing may directly connect to a feeling of nostalgia or a sense of comfort from a life experience. Think of those smells that automatically take you back to a happy place, you can feel the warmth spread across your body merely by catching a whiff of that familiar, soothing scent.

Burn a scented candle
Bake or cook a favourite fragrant-rich meal (think cookies, cinnamon buns, homemade bread, soups simmering on the stove for hours)
Go to a nursery or flower shop and smell the flowers (or buy yourself a small fragrant flower and bring it to your home)
Wash and fold your laundry, taking care to smell the fresh, clean scent
Go for a walk in nature, taking in the natural earthy scents
Use a cleaner to wipe down an area in your home – enjoy the fresh, clean smell
Use a favourite scented lotion, body wash, or shampoo
Use a favourite perfume or body mist
Visit a place with familiar and calming scents for you (e.g. Grandma’s house, your favourite bakery, book stores)
Go to the grocery store and stroll slowly past the deli

SENSE OF TASTE

Sense of taste is a powerful way to soothe as well. The challenge is, we don’t want to overuse this strategy or only rely on soothing using taste, as this can lead to other problematic areas of concern for us in life. We want to use flavours and taste mindfully, with intent and purpose.

Slowly enjoy a favourite peppermint or hard candy – being mindful to take in the taste, letting the treat melt in your mouth without chewing
Brush your teeth, floss, use mouth wash
Enjoy a nice cup of tea or coffee, or other warm beverage of choice
Enjoy a sweet or salty treat
Enjoy a fresh fruit or vegetable with a particular flavour you enjoy
Add certain spices (cinnamon, nutmeg, pepper, etc.) to your meal
Chew a piece of gum
Drink ice cold water (or chew ice cubes)
Try a new recipe
Order your favourite meal or comfort food from a restaurant of your choosing

SENSE OF SOUND

Sounds can often be soothing to the mind (or, they can have the opposite effect if the sound isn’t one your particularly enjoy). When you are distressed or feeling overwhelmed by a difficult day or emotion, being in a busy, crowded, loud space may only exacerbate the stress. Use sound as your ally, and know what sounds help ease you.

Listen to a favourite song of yours (either one that automatically puts a smile on your face, or one that allows your body to feel at ease and relaxed)
Hum a tune you enjoy to yourself
Listen to the crackling of a campfire, fireplace, woodstove (or even the fireplace channel)
Leave the television or a podcast on, even if you’re not listening (voices and background noise can be soothing, especially if you are alone)
Call a crisis or help line, and engage with supports (again, voices can be soothing when you’re alone). Likewise, call a friend or loved one, and merely listen to them talk
Play a musical instrument (guitar, piano, etc.)
Listen to a comedy show or funny video – or listen to videos of babies or small children laughing (the pure joy can be contagious)
Download a new audiobook and give it a listen
Go out in nature and listen to the sounds around you (birds signing, waves on a beach, a creek running or trickling, wind in the trees, crunching snow under your feet)
Listen to the rain on the roof

SENSE OF SIGHT

We cannot deny that what we see can ultimately sooth us (or escalate us). A cluttered house, a blizzard, a rush-hour traffic filled highway when all we want is to get home. These all contribute to that feeling of overwhelm and distress. But sight can also have the calming effect, if we know what sights help us sooth.

Watch the flames dance in a fireplace (or on the fireplace channel)
Look at the sky and admire the clouds, colours, sun, OR the moon, stars, darkness
Tidy your home and then enjoy the sight of beauty you’ve created
Likewise, redecorate an area in your home (hang a photo, paint a wall, add a houseplant – or do all three!)
Look at images of things you enjoy – flowers, beauty of nature, smiling faces
Go out into nature and enjoy the sights around you – notice the bark on trees, the blades of grass or mounds of snow, the falling snowflakes, the subtle movements in the trees or shrubs from the winds around you
Go to a park and watch as people stroll by, enjoying their day
Go to a museum or aquarium
Have magazines in your home with images of interest to you
Watch a river flowing, a waterfall, or waves on a beach
Watch animals in wildlife (birds at a feeder, squirrels playing)

A final thought…

Remember this is about yourself, quite literally it’s called ‘self-soothing’, meaning that what works for you will be completely individual. If you do not resonate with any of the above examples, that’s okay! Think about your own senses, and what helps you feel calm or relaxed. And then get to work practicing, so that skills are readily available and accessible to you when you need them most.