THERAPY TALK: Self-Awareness
The precursor to all change is truly an “awareness” of what needs to be changed. Said another way: You cannot make a change until you are first aware. But what does it mean to be “aware” or even “self-aware”?
Great question.
Self-awareness is the ability to reflect and identify aspects of your being (your thoughts, your actions, your emotions) and acknowledge how they align (or not) with your goals or values in life.
A person who is self-aware is often considered to be: cognizant, mindful, reflective, or tuned into themselves. They have the ability (and willingness) to turn inward and seek to understand themselves. Can you think of anyone in your world who you would consider as “self-aware”? What qualities do they posses that would lead you to conclude that they are self-aware?
Self-Awareness is Not About Judging Yourself
Please note, self-awareness is not about judging yourself. Rather, it’s about a curiosity to better understand yourself. It is not about placing judgment on yourself as good or bad for the ways you act, think, or feel, but rather seeking to understand why. The more you know about yourself, the better off you’ll be. If you know what circumstances lead to you being more productive, versus what circumstances distract or overwhelm you, you can create a work atmosphere that is most ideal for you. If you know what factors matter most to you in a relationship, how you handle conflict, and your views on big life issues, you’ll be better able to navigate life’s challenges when you are triggered or challenged.
This is valuable when you are hoping to grow or evolve as a person, and ultimately make changes for the better. Being aware of yourself allows you to know what is working well for you right now, and what is not. Discerning between the two gives you a beautiful starting point to where you may be able to make the required changes that will move you closer to your goals.
Can I Learn to Be More Self-Aware?
Self-awareness is a skill that can be developed and built-upon. It may not come naturally or easily to everyone, but it can be learned. There are many strategies that can support you in building self-awareness, but one of the most recommended (self-guided) strategies is journaling.
Putting pen to paper gives you the opportunity to let things out freely, process, and perhaps develop new insights from within yourself (enter: building self-awareness). You can build self-awareness through free-flowing journaling (starting with a blank page and letting whatever flow-out that comes to mind), or through a more structured reflective exercise (answering a posed question in a blog or self-help book, or completing a structured worksheet with reflective questions).
Being self-aware, or working towards a greater self-awareness, is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. From this awareness you can grow, make changes, and move towards the life you wish to live.
